The Animal School
Dr. R.
H. Reeves
Once
upon a time, the animals decided they must do something heroic to meet the
problems of a “New World,” so they organised a school. They adopted an activity
curriculum consisting of running, climbing, swimming and flying. To make it
easy to administer, all animals took all the subjects.
The duck
was excellent in swimming, better in fact then his instructor, and made
excellent grades in flying, but he was very poor in running. Since he was low
in running he had to stay after school and also drop swimming to practise
running. This was kept up until his webfeet were badly worn and he was only
average in swimming. But average was acceptable in school, so nobody worried
about that except the duck.
The
rabbit started at the top of the class in running, but had a nervous breakdown
because of so much makeup in swimming.
The
squirrel was excellent in climbing until he developed frustrations in the
flying class where his teacher made him start from the ground up instead of
from the treetop down. He also developed charley horses from over-exertion and
he got a C in climbing and a D in running.
The
eagle was a problem child and had to be disciplined severely. In climbing class
he beat all the others to the top of the tree, but insisted on using his own
way of getting there.
At the
end of the year, an abnormal eel that could swim exceedingly well and also
could run, climb and fly a little had the highest average and was
valedictorian.
The
prairie dogs stayed out of school and fought the tax levy because the administration
would not add digging and burrowing to the curriculum. They apprenticed their
children to the badger and later joined the groundhogs and gophers to start a
successful private school.